Post-Womb Transmission Musings
The tremendous spaciousness of this space is aweful, as in the true sense of the word…full of awe.
How does one put words to such immense depth of feeling? How could I ever hope to pour out my oceans of ink to put words to the Timeless? How could there be an end to the tears that flow salty veins into the rivers, to be carried to oceans, to return to the heavens, to be poured back down onto my skin through the blessed rains that heal the earth. my tears are the rains above Her She collects them and tastes the bitterness of the medicine that my heart creates through the transmutation of the the pain, the violation, the incessant belief that I am separate. The self-righteous indignation that I have been wronged, and that I have a right to take, to hoard wealth and safety. When does the need for ‘more’ end? When will I ever finally rest and succumb to the ever-expanding flow of provision and care and safety that has been offered to me at every moment of my life?
When will I believe that I am ‘OK’? I’ve not felt the permission given to me to accept that I’m OK.
I am so ferociously cared for, protected. How is the thirst for ‘more’ serving me? How much ‘more’ must I be pressured into accumulating before I’m allowed to step into the expansion with Her, to soften to a life of caring for others, holding others the way that She holds me? This deep-rooted belief that I must achieve success and provision and safety first, before turning to the needs of others…this thirst is never satisfied. The ego will never say, ‘that’s enough, now is the time to serve others’, “ok. I’m full now”. The matrix will always have another reason to turn a blind eye to the pain of others, to serve the self while giving a little wink. These patterns of self-service, the external validation that consumes…As long as I look to an externally-sourced and validated Being, I perpetuate the patterns and cycles and fear and control that marches families off the beaches of their homeland at gunpoint.
As long as I agree with ‘fear of the unknown’ as a means of procuring safety, I will continue to cling to the riverbank…I will claw and scrape at survival. But as I soften deeper into Her flow, I intend to let go of the bank, to swim and ebb and flow and even to dissolve into Her Unknown. For what is a life that is unable to release control, but the life of a tyrant. How will the high-chair tyrant Prince ever mature into the King of his destiny without surrendering to the Almighty Mother Queen from whom he emerged?
The guilt that stifles you is desiring to show you that you know a ‘Way of Being’ that transcends the patterns that were taught to you. Guilt is a teacher, too long has it been used to keep you in cycles of repetition, downward spirals that drive you further from the whispers of your heart. Only spend time with guilt, allow the guilt to be in your field, and rest as the visions for a a new ‘mode of being’ becomes clear to you. One that resonates with your essence.
The question of being wanted or not becomes irrelevant, when I see that I chose, and continue to choose, to be here. I have come to shake foundations, I have come to illuminate shadows, I have come to build bridges between the realms that we once believed to be realms of the enemy. No. They are the realms of scattered pieces of our selves, the dismembered parts of ourselves that we forgot to embrace in pursuit of external forces that capture Service and arrest the flow of Being. As I build bridges to between the shards of Being, I call those with courage to cross the bridge to become re-acquainted with their lost brothers and sisters. I build bridges so that we may come Home to ourselves. My words are echoes of the transmission of Her apocalypse, Her majestical unveiling that melts the hardened hearts of those willing to behold Her eternal cradling of the eternal.
I speak to you Dear Reader. Do not be convinced that ‘they’ are separate. Do not let those who mean to exploit you convince you who the enemy is. It is time we define and know the true enemy…it is any that would seek to drive a wedge between that which holds you and connects you to the Whole. All systems built on the presumption that upholds the illusion of separation…they are static, they are dead, they are synthetic, they are reliant on the belief in lack, and they require your agreements. The moment you withdraw consent, the moment we lay down the armour, surrender to the rising tide of brutal forces that threaten to destroy us, the battle dissipates. The moment you decide to end the battle with yourself, the war is won. For the forces of Love, Compassion, Kindness, Forgiveness become the new ‘mode of Being’, opening up the infinite potential within each moment to BE the very thing we thought we were looking for.
Suddenly, the old saying, ‘be the change you want to see in the world’ comes alive. By riding the undercurrents of primal energy, I move with a dynamic agility to transmute the lead that I see in others into golden elixir. The mirror of existence illuminates the synergy of loving myself as I love my enemy, for they are not separate. I now speak to the Divine that I perceive in each person, allowing the snares and triggers of the ego to simply crumble. As I surrender to the tragedy that each passing moment offers, I become the Force of Watery Love Herself. The conditions that I hold dissolve and loving myself and loving the ‘others’ merges into a dance deepening, of opening.
You, so full of wisdom and knowing, are free to imagine a world that you wish to create. Do not let your imagination be captured. For in being captured, you are limited. All the fleeting weirdness within you is your deep magic.
The guilt that stifles you is desiring to show you that you know a ‘Way of Being’ that transcends the patterns that were taught to you. Only spend time with guilt, allow the guilt to be in your field, and rest as the visions for a a new ‘mode of being’ become s clear to you. One that resonates with your essence.
The invitation is open. As this portal continues to open to me, and as I embody Her, as my tears drop onto the pages and into the keys, I feel all. Learning to say ‘Yes’. Allowing Mother to help me unwind the knotted mess of string, ideas, concepts, beliefs, patterns, that my blessed mind has been wresting with. Together we are learning to weave something beautiful out of the shards.